Being A Good Parent…

Being A Good Parent…

Is hard. It takes so much effort. So much mental focus. Especially when one is tired. I have been in and out of depression due to the lack of sleep and the high’s and lows that typically comes with any parents life.

And at the end of the day the hardest thing to do: be compassionate. Find the energy to say words to your child. Do that little extra bit of kindness for your partner to make them laugh. Get off the couch to wash the dishes. Put the boxes out for recycling. Take out the trash. Get a bag of ginger snap cookies and a small container of egg nog while grocery shopping to make your partner laugh after they’ve had a rough day.

I watched my parents take their anger out on each other. It’s so so hard not to repeat the mistakes that your parents made because that was the behavior that was modeled for you. You have their DNA. It’s unavoidable in some respects. But awareness, determination and the story that you tell yourself about what life is all about – what the meaning of life is to you – that seems to make a difference. I don’t have as many answers or good questions as I’d like to have – I’m hungry for more information. To change the way and transcend how I act in the world. I do lots of nice things for people because there are times when I can be incredibly petty and small. I fight that behavior. I rage against the smallness. I want to be abundant in my thinking and in my giving and the care which I have for myself and for the people around me.

My goal is to be a generous giver to my wife and my son and to the people in the community around me. Living and non-living things are my higher power. The world is beautiful and we GET to be in it. I always have to remind myself of that – even when things can seem horrible – there is still so much beauty in people and in the world.